Response to Same Sex Marriage

I Peter 2:11-12 “Living as Pilgrims”

My purpose is to respond to the recent decision of the SCOTUS legalizing so-called same-sex marriage (hereafter SSM) in all fifty states. It is tempting to launch into a cultural analysis and how we should respond as a church. But, we must first hear from God. That is my responsibility as your pastor, to expound the Word of God. And that is what sets the church apart from the world. We listen to God, not to humans or culture, to hear truth. First we will look at I Peter 2:11-12 to give us the biblical basis for our response, then look at the biblical response to SSM, along with the damage it will cause. Lastly, we will ask what we as the church should do going forward.

1. Who we are
Dear friends, we are pilgrims. We are strangers. We are aliens. We are exiles in this world. We as American Christians have gotten quite comfy in this world. Comfort is a bad thing for Christians who are to be at war. In the last decades, the church has faded from cultural prominence to cultural insignificance. The Supreme Court’s decision now begins another shift in the way the world understands the church. It is from cultural insignificance to a cultural threat. Not only is the church continued to be marginalized, but our stance on marriage and sexuality are considered a danger to the society at large.

This cultural shift reminds us: we are pilgrims. For much of church history, Christians have lived as exiles in the world. This is not our home. Our home is beyond this world. Peter reminds his readers that they have an identity given to them by God (2:9-10). We are God’s holy nation. We are God’s people. This is who we are. And we have a job: to proclaim the praises of Jesus Christ to the world.

2. What we do
Our identity as Christians comes with a job description. There is a negative and a positive. Negative: we are to abstain from passions that wage war against our soul. Positive: we are to live honorable lives before the watching world. What a timely passage for us today. We must not follow the world in giving full vent to our desires, sexual or otherwise. We go to war, and by the power of the Spirit, we slay these sinful desires. There is to be a marked difference between the church and the world when it comes to giving in to our sinful desires.

On the other hand, we are not to isolate ourselves from the sinful world. We are to live honorable lives before them. What does that mean? We are to do good deeds before their eyes and even for them.

3. Purpose
The purpose for this type of lifestyle is to silence unbelievers when they call us evildoers. See verse 15. The time is already here when people in our culture will call our views on marriage and sexuality evil, repressive, damaging to people, and harmful to society. Stop them in their tracks by proving them otherwise.
The second part of the purpose of our honorable lifestyle is so that the Gentiles (the unbelieving world) would glorify God when he comes. This day of visitation refers to the coming judgment. God desires no less than the salvation of people who call Christians evil. By the work of God, the testimony of the church, and the power of the gospel, people who once embraced SSM and called God’s view of marriage evil can be born again and be changed.

Brothers and sisters, we are pilgrims. The Supreme Court decision is one step among many that is driving the true church to the fringes of society. But while this decision is negative, there may be positive outcomes for the American church. Right now, it reminds us that we are pilgrims here. This decision has made it clear, that Christ-followers who hold to the authority of God’s Word are weird and not a part of the society. This is the attitude we must have as we give a biblical response to SSM and homosexuality in our culture. This is not our home, but God has placed us here as a witness to the truth by our abstaining from sin and serving other in good works.

As I Peter 3:15 says: “but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect…” (ESV). This is our attitude. This is our purpose. What is a biblical response to SSM?

1. Biblical Response

A. Marriage
Let me say it clearly: marriage is between one man and one woman. That’s the way God created it. Anything else is a perversion of his good and gracious will for humanity. Marriage is not only important because it promotes human flourishing, but because it is a model of the relationship between Christ and the church. There are many arguments from the Bible and from nature why marriage must be restricted to one man and one woman. But the primary one for people who believe in divine revelation is this: thus says the Lord.

Our Savior says in Matthew 19:4-6: Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” (ESV).

What God has joined together, our society would tear asunder. But the undermining of marriage did not start with the SSM. It has its roots in the separation of sex from marriage. It has its first sprout in no-fault divorce. The sexual revolution of the ‘60’s and ‘70’s has lead our culture to gut marriage of its meaning and of it significance in our society. Tragically, the church has mirrored the world in undermining marriage. For that we grieve and repent.

B. Sexuality
The only context for sexual expression is in the bounds of monogamous marriage. All other sexual expression and activity is outside the will of our God and is sin. “Fornication” or “sexual immorality” is the word the NT uses for sex outside the bounds of marriage.

C. Gender
The Bible teaches that gender is a part of the goodness of God’s creation. God created humans male and female. Our society has made gender a fluid category and unlinked it from biological sex. The results of this are tragic for our culture at large and for individuals in particular. Do some people, including some Christians, struggle with gender identity issues? Yes. It is a part of the effects of sin in this world. The world says: “embrace your feelings.” The Bible says, “Live in accordance with God’s commands.” No matter what the struggle, God offers grace to live in accordance with his design and with his commands.

D. Same-sex attraction
We cannot as the church deny the reality of same-sex attraction. There may be Christians—married or unmarried—in this very church who struggle with same-sex attraction. We must remember that any desires for sexual fulfillment outside the bounds of marriage are the result of sin twisting our God-given desires. Giving into those desires is sin. Having them is not sin.

A person struggling with same-sex desires is on the same ground as a person struggling with sinful opposite-sex attraction. The same way a Christian man must avoid looking at pornography or a Christian woman must avoid adultery, so a Christian with same-sex attraction must not act on their desires. God’s Word and the Holy Spirit give each one of us power to put to death the sin in our lives. Every Christian will fight sinful desires to the day they die.

E. Repentance and the gospel
The Bible is clear that homosexual acts are a sin. An acceptance of SSM and SS behavior is a denial of sin and a denial of the gospel that has saved us. I Corinthians 6:9-11-

Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God (ESV).

The ESV’s “men who practice homosexuality” translates two Greek words that describe the passive and active partners in homosexual acts. (KJV- nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind; NASB- effeminate or homosexuals)

This is unambiguous. Homosexuality is not new. It has always been a sin, along with any other form of immorality. Any anyone trapped in any sin can be redeemed by the blood of Jesus Christ. We must not back down on preaching sin and repentance from it. The church has no hope to offer to unrepentant sinners (paraphrase of Mark Dever). But it has the best news in the world for those who forsake their sins and follow Jesus. With this in mind, we say:

1. To our culture
We say the same thing we have always said: repent of your sins and believe in Jesus Christ. A person who embraces sins will enter the kingdom of God. There must be repentance from sin. We say to our culture: we believe that marriage is between one man and one woman because our God has defined marriage. We dissent from the SCOTUS decision on SSM. We must obey God rather than man.

2. To affirming churches and Christians
A church that affirms SSM agrees with the culture and therefore has nothing to offer the culture. A church that caters to the world, will end up looking like the world, and therefore have nothing to offer to the world. A religious veneer on cultural opinion can quickly be discarded as worthless.

The numbers don’t lie. Mainline protestant churches who have embraced homosexual behavior and SSM are bleeding members and closing churches. The Episcopal Church and the PC USA are prime examples of this.

3. To unbelievers who endorse SSM
Love them by disagreeing with their views on marriage and sexuality. Love them by doing good works for them. Love them by showing them the holiness of God, their sin, and the sacrifice of Jesus Christ for them. Love them by calling to repent of their sin. We tell them we disagree with their views because they wrong in God’s eyes. But we also tell them that we are for them because we love them and want them to come to a knowledge of the truth.

2. The Damage

A. To society
Families are the building blocks of society. Strong families and strong marriages make a strong society. The legalization of SSM will hurt of society, because it undermines marriage and family.

B. People
Our neighbors will be hurt by the legalization of SSM. If they give themselves over to sexual sin and SSM, they will damage their bodies, souls, and their families. We will watch with sadness as people give themselves over to their sexual desires, thinking it will bring them happiness and fulfillment.

C. Religious liberty
Unfettered sexual expression has taken precedence over religious liberty. Some people in our culture and our government want to define religious liberty as only the right to teach what you believe versus the right to teach and live in accordance with your beliefs. Do not despair, Christianity has flourished when it followers have had no rights. The first to be affected by this decision may be Christian schools and colleges who face opposition when it comes to hiring practices and living arrangements for students. Some Christian business owners may be hard pressed to operate according to their biblical convictions.

3. Moving Forward

A. Hold to and proclaim a robust gospel of grace
If homosexuality is a sin, then there is an answer in the cross of Christ. If sex outside the bounds of marriage is a sin, then it can be forgiven by our Savior. If we do not hold to the gospel, we lose any power to overcome sin and any hope to offer to the world. The gospel forms a church into a community of people full of joy in God and full of hope in this sinful world. Don’t let it go.

B. Teach and model strong marriages
Marriage is first sacred because it models the relationship between Christ and His church. Our first reason for strong, godly marriages is not the fulfillment of the husband and the wife, but for the honor of Jesus Christ. The best antidote to our culture’s marriage disease is to live what the Bible teaches on marriage.

C. Develop a theology of singleness
As we focus on marriage as the church, we must remember that the Bible also teaches on singleness. God gives his blessing to the unmarried who are devoted to the Lord. Lest we forget the single, divorced, and widowed, and make marriage and family into an idol, we do well to remember the Bible’s teaching on marriage AND singleness. In the context of SSM, a Christian with same-sex desires has two options: a life of celibacy or biblical marriage. The church should be a place where married and unmarried members are cared for and ministered to.

D. Love the refugees
Sexually-broken sinners are nothing new. The woman at the well had 5 husbands. She was searching for the living water, but she didn’t know it. We will encounter people who have given full expression to their sexual desires, and are left with a dry, parched soul. We have the privilege of offering them Jesus Christ, the living water.

We can learn lessons from the pro-life cause of the last forty plus years. First, the church must be ready to speak to the issue of SSM and be prepared to act. Some evangelical Christians were caught flat-footed when Roe vs Wade dropped in 1973. Let it not be so with SSM. Second, the best way forward may not be to picket government buildings and churches that perform same-sex weddings. While the pro-life cause has a very public voice, it has been very effective as churches have opened pregnancy refuge centers and supported the adoption of babies that would have otherwise be aborted. In the same way, a better way forward is to equip the church and Christians to minister to sexually broken sinners.

E. Good works
The Bible is clear: we are a light in the world, we are a witness to unbelievers by being zealous for good works. We must not retreat. We must not back down from loving our neighbors, serving our community, and proclaiming the gospel to all people. Don’t run for the hills. Be a light on the hill that cannot be hidden.

F. Kind words
We must be careful that people do not reject God’s view on marriage because we are cranky, argumentative people. They should reject it because they reject the truth. Let us show perfect courtesy toward all people, as commanded in Titus 3. Let us walk wisely toward outsiders, having our speech seasoned with grace, as Colossians 4 says. Let us live as people transformed by the gospel we proclaim.

G. Doctrine
The church must be clear on its stance on marriage, gender, and sexuality. I am working with our deacons to develop additions to our constitution in these areas. We have always believed these things. Now is the time to put them in writing.

Conclusion
One Christian leader said this in response to the SCOTUS decision: “Everything has changed and nothing has changed.” Everything has changed. The definition of marriage has been fundamentally altered by the highest court in the land. This decision will cause deep harm to our society and to the people of this nation.

Yet, nothing has changed. The church of Jesus Christ has the same mission, the same gospel, and the same Lord. It doesn’t matter what has happened last week or what will happen this week. We press forward with confidence in the power of the gospel, with hope in the return of Christ for his church, and with eagerness to see Christ work through his church. No matter what the circumstances in our nation, no matter how the church is treated in society, Christ calls us to take up our cross and follow him. He calls us to give ourselves for others without giving up the truth. He calls us to compassion without compromise.